Johnny Gaudreau’s smile is everywhere in the Avalon, N.J., home he shared with his wife, Meredith, and their young children. Framed photos of the late NHL star, grinning alongside their now-3-year-old daughter, Noa, and son Johnny, 2, circle their living room couch and sit on their kitchen island. It’s an intentional choice by the 34-year-old mom to make sure their three kids — along with Noa and Johnny, they also have 16-month-old son Carter — talk about their dad “every day.”

“I frame those little candid pictures, and I put those out. And they’re not our best photos, but I can see the kids pick them up and can kind of start putting two to two together,” Meredith tells PEOPLE. “I put those where we took the photo so they can kind of match that moment, like singing happy birthday to him at our kitchen table.”

That photo, taken of their at-home celebration for Johnny’s 31st birthday with his favorite Carvel ice cream cake, is one of the last they have of the Columbus Blue Jackets winger. Two weeks later, on Aug. 29, 2024, he and his younger brother, Matthew, 29, were hit and killed by an alleged drunk driver while out biking in their New Jersey hometown the night before their sister Katie’s wedding.

Their deaths sent shockwaves through the tight-knit hockey community, who mourned Johnny — a star in the NHL for 11 years between his time with the Calgary Flames and his last two seasons with the Blue Jackets — and Matthew, a high school hockey coach who was expecting his first child with his high school sweetheart, Madeline.

Two years later, it’s a night that still “haunts” her. “It’s playing in my head all the time,” Meredith says.

At the time, Meredith was seven weeks pregnant with Carter — she had told Johnny the happy news just seven days before his death — and they had a week of bliss secretly knowing they would be a family of five.

“He just kept saying, ‘This is about to be crazy,’” Meredith recalls. “I have a long thread of messages from him talking about how excited he was to have a third baby, and how nervous he was.”

Both Johnny and Meredith — who wed in September 2021 — wanted to have kids close in age, just like their families. Johnny was one of four siblings, and Meredith has five sisters and brothers. And while this was sooner than they expected to welcome a third child — Noa arrived in October 2022, and “baby” Johnny in February 2024 — they were thrilled.

“We were really excited knowing we were about to be a family of five,” Meredith says. “We felt confident in being parents, now it was just more we’re going to need a lot of help.” Johnny, she says, “was a really good dad.”

“He was really gentle, really nurturing. Even if they were sound asleep, he would sneak in their rooms and just peek over their crib,” she recalls.

Meredith decided to share her pregnancy news — and that Johnny would soon be a father of three, not two — in her eulogy at his and Matthew’s funeral.

“I wanted everyone to know all John’s accomplishments, and first and foremost, that he was an amazing father,” she explains. “End of the day, that was the most important thing in his life. And I’m just so sorry that he’s not able to see his kids.”

During her pregnancy, Meredith enjoyed it “knowing it was my last one,” she says. “I soaked it all up. And when I went in to have Carter, I was really excited. I was beaming.”

She gave birth to Carter in April 2025, and when she looks at his smiling face, “I just don’t see anything but John,” she says. “His eyes have that sparkle that reminds me of [Johnny], and he’s just the happiest baby.”

Just before Carter’s arrival, Meredith and Madeline — who gave birth to her and Matthew’s son Tripp in December 2024 — launched the John and Matthew Gaudreau Foundation, which aims to help the youth hockey community through grants and aid other families impacted by drunk driving. They’ve since raised more than $80,000 and awarded money to seven organizations in 2026, including an Ohio sled hockey team and a group in Washington, D.C. that distributes hockey equipment to underprivileged kids.

“It was never lost on either of them how expensive it is to play ice hockey, especially as a kid,” Meredith says of Johnny and Matthew. “So we just help those families make it more accessible.”

Soon, they’ll launch a special merchandise collection with USA Hockey that benefits the foundation (available for preorders now), and they just held a launch party to announce their first event, a golf tournament slated for next year in collaboration with the J11 Fund, for late NHL star Jimmy Hayes.

Meredith and Madeline hope to eventually hand the organization over to the four children.

“It was important to us that we did something for our kids to know and see how special their fathers were,” Meredith says.

When she thinks back on the last two years, Meredith is “so glad” they had Noa, Johnny and Carter close together.

“When I see them all walk down the hall together, they’re pretty much all the same height, and I’m like, ‘This is crazy.’ And I just think about how if John was here he would be really loving this,” she says.

Going anywhere with all three kids is a challenge, Meredith says, and her entire family — her sister Lily, her aunt and uncle, Johnny’s parents, and especially her dad, Ed Morris — have made it possible. “I don’t know how I would do what I’m doing without my dad, but it’s a double-edged sword, because it just reminds me that Noa, and my sons too, don’t have their father,” she says.

Her dad comes out to help them in Columbus, where they live during the hockey season, to keep their lives as close to how they would be if Johnny were still alive. “He’s still such a huge part of every decision I make,” Meredith shares. “I try to imagine what we would be doing if he was here. And a lot of the time, it’s all the same thing.”

The day they lost Johnny, Meredith says, “still feels like yesterday.”

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost two years. It hasn’t really shifted a lot for me. I mean, I’ve learned to be more present, don’t take anything for granted, and just sort of slow down and enjoy my time with my kids while they are so young,” she says.

“I’m excited for them to be older together. But I also don’t want to wish these years away when they are so young, because these years go fast. John had only been to one of their first birthdays. It’s something that doesn’t even make sense, and it’s so sad. But I’m glad that John and I did a good job of just soaking up our time together with our kids,” Meredith adds.

“Those are my favorite memories.”